by Reid Fitzsimons

Nobody knows how the Trump presidency will unfold. Perhaps he’ll enjoy the celebrity aspects of the office and leave the actual governing to (hopefully capable) advisors and administrators. Certainly there are conservatives who worry he’s in reality an in-the-closet progressive. He might prove to be erratic in word and action and need to be constrained by constitutional check and balances that all but disappeared during the Obama years, facilitated by feckless Republicans. Or perhaps he’ll prove to be a principled conservative, holding a gentle but steady hand on the rudder of state. Nobody knows at this moment, perhaps not even Trump himself.

What we do know is that on January 20, 2017 we will not have to be subjected to a shrill voice proclaiming, “We are women, and from shore to shore the entire world heard us roar,” or some such inanity that flows so readily from the mouth of Hillary Clinton. We can take pleasure in the knowledge that any number of despots and obscure manipulators of money and power will not be receiving the return on their investment: “for a ‘donation’ of xx million dollars to the Clinton Foundation, I can assure you when I’m in the White House I will…” Hillary and Bill will always have enormous amounts of money and with it will maintain a cadre of people to tell them they are wonderful, but absent power no one will have to listen to them.

What a relief the Republican establishment will no longer, or at least for four years, have to cower and capitulate to the threat of the War On Women accusation as they did under the ever-present threat of being called racist if they opposed Obama. For eight years they felt compelled to behave as the stereotypical long abused wife who admits fault for the beatings inflicted on her by her husband.

Back when Bill Clinton finally left the White House I postulated he would find roles in the soft-core porn industry- chest hair exposed, adorned with gold necklaces reminiscent of the 1970s- and I was essentially correct. But what a comfort it is now, for both the electorate and likely his spouse, that he can pursue his true interests with the fear of only private scandal.

We can feel that the world makes sense again when the Clinton's receive only a generous $25,000 for a 25-minute speech rather than the previously demanded a quarter-million. Think of the money progressive colleges will save, money that can now go towards hiring that assistant to the associate dean for diversity they’ve been so severely lacking.

Hillary Clinton is well known to denigrate and hurl obscenities at those who are required to be in her presence. As the wife of a former President I imagine there will be a small nucleus of Secret Service agents deployed for her protection, and what an unenviable job that will be, but thankfully the deplorable citizenry who didn’t vote for her won’t have to listen to her mock and scorn- like a tree falling in the forest but no one around to hear it.

We may not know what a Trump victory will bring but we do know what the Clinton loss gave us- a wonderful and well-deserved sense of relief. There were many miles we had to go but for a moment, at least, the journey is finished and we can sleep.