In general, courage includes doing something meaningful or right in which the consequence might entail something significantly adverse. Standing up for someone being bullied, in which you could well also become a target would qualify. Or, as in the case of the young cancer patient mentioned above, face great personal adversity with a mix of humor, stoicism, and positivity. On a more global scale, in reference to WW2, I had an uncle who volunteered to become a bomber pilot and some how survived his 30 missions. Instead of being rotated home, he wanted to see it through and transitioned to fighters, and was shot down and killed on April 20, 1945, perhaps the the last American fighter pilot killed in the European theater; he was all of 22. That, obviously, is courage of the highest order. Sometimes foolishness and recklessness are confused with courage, such as doing something for an "adrenaline rush:" bungee jumping may be exciting but you don't really expect to be injured and it's purely self-involved. Similarly, acts of courage by others do not impart on another- the bravery of my uncle in no way suggests I am courageous, claims we occasionally see made in cheap politics.

A number of years ago I heard an interview of a young folk singer by one of the usual drone voices on NPR. Apparently the young lady was close to her grandmother who had recently been placed in a nursing home. The interviewer said something about it taking courage to visit her grandmother, and the folk singer responded enigmatically: “Yeah, the courage to open my eyes.” What a hero!

If one accepts the premise that the US and much of the privileged and affluent world is undergoing a great deterioration, one characterized by greed and selfishness, the diminution of language is integral to the process. Words that previously had great impact, such have racism and tolerance, have become meaningless. Now a racist is someone/everyone who disagrees with the dogma of the establishment/cultural powers, and tolerance is a one-way proposition: “you must not just tolerate me, but celebrate and embrace who claim to be and succumb to my demands or I will despise you.”

The words “courage” and “bravery” have been usurped and used by people who display neither, and have turned these formidable concepts, virtues esteemed throughout human history, into vacuousness and silliness, largely propagated by the social media. I’ve noticed the following scenario in various forms: a woman who craves attention goes on “Tic-Tok” to reveal she doesn’t shave her armpits and includes armpit “selfies.” She is then “trolled” by people who truly have nothing better to do in life, accusing her for being gross or whatever. Our armpit hirsute female responds by declaring she has been emotionally devastated and perhaps even received the highly coveted “death threats.” But, thank goodness, she has supporters who “follow” her, and declare she was courageous to admit she doesn’t shave her armpits. This is actually what we’ve come to.

There are several behaviors that are harmful or wrong that we’ve come to conflate stopping with bravery, depending on the relative value of the behavior as determined by the cultural powers. For example, at present no one is going to declare some guy who stops beating his wife and kids as heroic. Likewise, a sexually promiscuous person who tires of the lifestyle isn’t going to be labeled courageous, though someone who becomes promiscuous and proudly announces it might garner such accolades. A heretofore heterosexual who “comes out” and shatters his or her family might well be labeled gallant, as would a guy who declares he’s a female. And similarly, a drug or alcohol addict who goes into rehab is often described as brave. Which leads us to recently deceased actor Matthew Perry, who played one of the main characters on the TV show Friends that ran from 1994 to 2004.

A preface before I go further: it certainly is admirable for an addict of any sort to admit what the are and overcome it. Even better if they can make amends for the misery and destruction they left in the wake of their addiction. Though I never watched Friends and knew nothing of Matthew Perry prior to his death at the age of 54, some of the headlines that saturated the news caught my attention. The initial reports were that he simply drowned in a Jacuzzi. The accepted narrative was that Matthew Perry had been well-known as an addict of many different substances for decades, but publicly admitted this and was heralded as courageous. Here are some of the initial headlines following his death:

*Despite his professional success, Perry had a tumultuous personal journey. His struggles with addiction and sobriety were public knowledge, a testament to his honesty and courage. (https://bnnbreaking.com/arts/matthew-perry-remembering-a-comedic-genius-and-courageous-soul/)

*Sean Penn (also a famous actor) has praised Matthew Perry’s courage in the way that he spoke out about his addiction in order to help others who are suffering.
(https://www.nme.com/news/tv/sean-penn-praises-matthew-perrys-bold-and-generous-addiction-campaign-3548130)

*Fox News posted a video, entitled “Matthew Perry remembered as ‘courageous’ role model: ‘He was inspiring others"

While I am not someone awed by celebrity, I have/had nothing against Matthew Perry. But like so many feel-good narratives that “go viral,” it was discovered there was a good deal more than a troubled celebrity rose above his addictions and became an inspiration to others. First, his cause of death was from the “acute effects of ketamine” (apparently impressive amounts) while contributing factors included “drowning, coronary artery disease and the effects of buprenorphine” In other words, he was passed out blitzed when he died.

Second, he spent something like $9 million in rehab over the years: he might have been clean for a while but always returned to drug and alcohol addiction. Perhaps more than most people due to various life experiences, I well know $9 million could have nourished a huge number of hungry children in impoverished countries, many people could have been educated to rise above poverty, many lives could have been saved from disease, and many water and sanitation projects that could have been built. Is it heartless to NOT view spending millions of dollars on yourself to fight your self-inflicted demons as noble, and even maybe selfish?

In Nov. 2022 Perry had a book published entitled “Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing: A Memoir,” in which he talked openly of his recurrent addictions, and good for him. Part of the hype was that he finally, successfully became sober. Unfortunately there is fairly credible evidence it was false, and he kept on getting high even during his sobriety book tour. In fact, a couple months removed from his death some of the tabloids, with a reasonable record of accuracy, suggested Perry wasn’t the all-around great guy portrayed in the adoring celebrity accounts: a headline from Jan 12, 2024 UK Daily Mail, “Not a 'Friend' - but a fraud: Matthew Perry violently assaulted women... while posing as a paragon of virtue.” (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-12949069/Matthew-Perry-fraud-violently-assaulted-women-MAUREEN-CALLAHAN.html)

But in the end it doesn’t matter if he was a troubled, pitiable soul with a good heart or a self-involved money grubbing fraud, he was was not a “courageous role model,” and to make such claims and statements diminishes every true act of bravery, and ultimately diminishes our society and world.