{"id":525,"date":"2018-07-17T14:26:50","date_gmt":"2018-07-17T18:26:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/conservativeproletariat.com\/?p=525"},"modified":"2018-07-17T14:27:47","modified_gmt":"2018-07-17T18:27:47","slug":"the-commencement-speech-ill-never-be-asked-to-gve","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/conservativeproletariat.com\/?p=525","title":{"rendered":"The Commencement Speech I’ll Never Be Asked To Give"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a> \"\"\u00a0<\/a>\"\"\u00a0<\/a>\"\"\u00a0<\/a>\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

by Reid Fitzsimons<\/p>\n

I have no recollection who spoke at my high school graduation (1976) but I do recall that a former Vice- President, Hubert Humphrey, spoke at my oldest brother\u2019s ceremony (\u201971) and, if nothing else, I learned that famous and influential people can be exceptionally long-winded and boring.<\/p>\n

With that said\u2026have you read Steinbeck\u2019s Of Mice and Men?\u00a0 It\u2019s meaningful if not great, though it is made better because it\u2019s relatively short.\u00a0 To me the most poignant scene was not the climactic one, where George shot Lenny in the back of the head so that he would be spared the turmoil he was about to endure, but the scene involving the used-up old guy who had nothing left in his life but his equally old dog.\u00a0 Some of the young ranch hands, with nothing better to do at the moment, began telling the old guy he should put the dog out of his misery, that the dog was smelly and in pain and they would be doing something merciful, notwithstanding that there was really nothing wrong with the dog except being old.\u00a0 In reality the young guys were just trying to find a moment of cruel entertainment and, having coerced assent from the old man, they walked the dog out of the bunkhouse and the now grieving old man, in tears, heard the shot ring in the distance.<\/p>\n

I suggest there are three characteristics most worth aspiring to in life, though I\u2019m not entirely sure how I came up with these.\u00a0 The first is kindness, of which one requirement, I suppose, is the absence of cruelty.\u00a0 Though I\u2019m pretty sure I\u2019ve witnessed more suffering than the vast majority of Americans, most of what I know of horrible cruelty people do to others comes from reading and studying- part of a true education is to learn about things you might never experience but nevertheless are able to interpret correctly.\u00a0 Hence, a truly educated and enlightened person will not, for example, throw out the accusation of \u201cNazi\u201d every time they encounter someone who disagrees with them, which seems to be a fad these days.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Anyway, I fear our tendency is to view kindness as a passive and theoretical thing, which allows us to feel good about ourselves without exertion.\u00a0 I\u2019m talking about the \u201cif<\/em> I saw someone in need, then I would <\/em>do this and that\u201d kind of approach.\u00a0 I think to be truly kind one has to be active, to realize there are many in need, and actually seek them out and do something to ameliorate the situation.\u00a0 It\u2019s a little difficult to do dramatic acts of kindness in the US simply because our wealth is so great (I know we often talk about poverty in the US, but I can assure you it\u2019s minimal relative to the majority of the world).\u00a0 Nevertheless, kindness can be expressed in small increments- helping an older person maintain their house, spending time with a mentally retarded person (I fear that is now a forbidden term!), and, perhaps the most difficult for a person of your age, standing up for someone even if it subjects you<\/em> to ridicule; sometimes kindness requires courage.\u00a0 The common denominator is that kindness involves effort, time, and maybe inconvenience; it may involve money as well, but on the expenditure end, not the receiving end.\u00a0 I\u2019m often annoyed when what is in reality a business, profit making or not, portends to act out of kindness and charity and then charge absurd amounts for their services.<\/p>\n

A few more thoughts on this.\u00a0 I think there should be a relatively high standard for kindness in terms that one should not confuse it with basic courtesy.\u00a0 For example, you probably shouldn\u2019t be overly impressed with yourself because you slowed down to allow someone to pass you on the highway.\u00a0 Also, if you are inclined to kindness, there is reality to be considered: as it can require resources, and perhaps a lot of them, there is a time to earn and save and gain experience and skills, and a time to expend them.\u00a0 Wanting to be kind is fine, but it is much easier and effective if you\u2019ve invested in knowledge and abilities to actually allow you to put kindness into action.<\/p>\n

Moving on\u2026honor and integrity.\u00a0 Honesty is part of this but I\u2019m not of the opinion that one needs to be honest simply for the sake of being so.\u00a0 In other words, there are many times in life that raw honesty can prove hurtful without benefit.\u00a0 This especially applies to telling someone what you think of them in the midst of emotion.\u00a0 I used to be associated with someone who would scream the most vile and hurtful things possible, then justify it by saying, \u201cI\u2019m just being honest.\u201d\u00a0 Unfortunately technology has given us an opportunity to express the stupidest things possible without hesitation, bypassing rational forethought.\u00a0 We\u2019ve confused emotion, which often feels absolutely true at the moment, with mature and thoughtful honesty.<\/p>\n

Regarding integrity, I sometimes think people can be separated by an easy test: if you receive too much change at a store do you tell the cashier and give the excess amount back, or do you say to yourself, \u201cSweet, I put one over on them,\u201d and keep the money.\u00a0 I spent many years in New York and, having seen so many political scandals, I\u2019m endlessly entertained when the latest batch of corrupt politicians is caught and the response is to convene (yet another) \u201cethics panel, to make recommendations on how to prevent future corruption.\u201d\u00a0 For better or worse, if someone has achieved chronologic adulthood and hasn\u2019t figured out that stealing or whatever crime is wrong, there are no possible new ethics laws that will prevent corruption in the future, though they can always proclaim, \u201cWe did something\u201d and be happily re-elected!<\/p>\n

Respect, or at least acting respectful, is the third of three on this list of mine.\u00a0 You will inevitably encounter lots of people in life you don\u2019t respect and, while it is tempting to demonstrate this (\u201cbeing honest\u201d), I\u2019ve found it is almost always best to treat people respectfully, whether you hate them or disagree with them or whatever.\u00a0 I\u2019m not, however, an absolutist on this.\u00a0 I spent over three years working at a Federal prison many years ago and am happy to say our default philosophy was to treat the convicts with basic respect.\u00a0 It was important, however, for it to be bi-directional and it was appropriate at times to not act respectful towards them.\u00a0 Nevertheless, I\u2019ve never once regretted treating someone with basic respect (courtesy is somewhere part of this), which includes rapists, murderers, pedophiles, and all manner of disagreeable people.\u00a0 The goal is to not be a fool: a few times in my life I encountered punks in precarious situations and, while being perfectly polite, kept a watchful eye out for knives and worrisome sudden moves.<\/p>\n

I do fret that as a society we\u2019ve suddenly learned to justify overt disrespect with the lowest of thresholds, which includes variation of opinion, to the point of if someone disagrees with me on any point whatsoever there is a perceived right to treat them with utter contempt.\u00a0 I am a vegetarian and while I find the practice of carnivorism terribly unappealing, I have to remember I spent most of my life as a carnivore and it would be quite dissatisfying if I spent my time hating and berating them.\u00a0 Despite the passion involved, no one is going to switch to vegetarianism because I screamed at him or her, whereas quietly setting an example might have some result.\u00a0\u00a0 There are<\/em> times when it is appropriate to treat people with other than respect or courtesy but you should really have a compelling and significant reason for doing so.\u00a0 One last point on this- of the five-plus years I\u2019ve spent in what we call the Third World, I have found that treating people as deserving of respect is appreciated and usually reciprocated, regardless of how vastly different the other culture might be from ours.\u00a0 It would be terribly na\u00efve to think this alone can bridge differences, everyone holding hands and singing Kumbaya, but without basic respect nothing can be gained.<\/p>\n

Someday, many years from now, you are going to face an eternal question: What is wrong with kids these days?\u00a0 The dilemma is whether or not there really has been a change for negative or it just seems that way to an old person.\u00a0 I fear the former is correct at present, based not just upon age related curmudgeonry but due to cultural, economic, and technological changes we\u2019ve witnessed in our lifetimes.\u00a0 I\u2019m inclined to believe our unprecedented wealth is the primary underlying factor, resulting in our absurd level of materialism, expectations of immediate gratification, and almost total separation from the requirements of sustenance.\u00a0 I recall hearing that a moronic celebrity once asked (speaking of meat), \u201cWhy do people have to hunt and kill animals when they want meat, why can\u2019t the just buy it at the grocery store?\u201d<\/p>\n

You are of the \u201cself-esteem\u201d generation, this idea that a high self-esteem can somehow happen based upon classroom instruction and saturation with platitudes.\u00a0 This is nonsense, of course, and here is the reality- no child should ever<\/em> be subject of ridicule or derision by their parents or any other adult.\u00a0 In other words, a poor self-image should never be imposed upon a child.\u00a0 However, the opposite of this is not good self-esteem per se, but rather something neutral, a mostly blank page waiting for you the write upon it.\u00a0 With rare exception, kids in the US simply haven\u2019t had the time or opportunity to accomplish much meaningful.\u00a0 This is not to say you shouldn\u2019t be content with who you are, but that true self-esteem is associated with meaningful achievement and successfully encountering challenges that (hopefully) occurs as one grows up.\u00a0 I think most kids know, at some level, that being the recipient of the \u201cyou are special!\u201d and \u201cyou deserve a trophy too!\u201d silliness is vacuous and ultimately is meaningless.\u00a0 This is a truism that is nevertheless true: if a kid is never allowed to fail, they will likely never know the satisfaction that comes with success.<\/p>\n

An odd proliferation of rights has occurred during your generation.\u00a0 Keep in mind a true right is something that is inherent to your existence and not something\u00a0provided to you by some extrinsic person or power.\u00a0 A simple example is that you have the right to write anything you want but not the right to require others to read it.\u00a0 We seem to be confusing rights with subjective desires, hence we hear of the \u201cright\u201d to feel welcome, to not feel uncomfortable, to be accepted, to not be offended, and so on.\u00a0 Even more worrisome is that, besides potentially being in conflict with true natural rights, these have often been framed in the form of demands for policy and laws.\u00a0 This seems especially true in collegiate settings where, paradoxically, the wealthiest and most privileged of our society are highly concentrated.\u00a0 How can someone\u2019s demand to not be offended, for example, find any kind of reasonable enforcement?\u00a0 A feeling of offense is endlessly mutable, essentially indefinable, and without any quantitative limit.\u00a0 In a society characterized by kindness and respect this whole issue is moot- a kind and respectful person will not capriciously offend someone and, similarly, a kind and respectful person will not respond to perceived offense by screaming profanities and insults.\u00a0 This used to be termed a civil society, and it cannot be the product of policy statements, law, or regulation.<\/p>\n

Selfish and self-centered children have existed throughout time and indeed these characteristics may be a natural phase of development.\u00a0 Nevertheless, a responsible parent will serve as a counter to these inclinations, or at least are supposed to do so.\u00a0 I fear, owing to an inexplicable inclination of parents wanting to be friends rather than parents, the \u201ctime out\u201d as the last resort of discipline, and parents simply avoiding the hassle of saying \u201cNO,\u201d children have discovered they are in control-\u00a0not part of a unit, but the center of it.\u00a0 Ego-centrism, and its manifestations of demanding attention and approval, rarely yields positive outcomes, or happiness for that matter.\u00a0 It\u2019s more than obnoxious selfies and expectations that at least 3,000 of your 4,000 Facebook friends should be thrilled to learn your thoughts on the new Netflix series.\u00a0 There develops a belief that even one\u2019s trivial whims and opinions should be favorably acted on by someone else and, more worrisome, that one's worth is dependent upon\u00a0affirmation from others.<\/p>\n

Within my lifetime certainly it was perfectly appropriate, and in my view preferable, to keep one\u2019s more personal feelings to themselves or with a limited distribution- friends, family, loved ones, etc.\u00a0 Now, due to the existence of childish yet ominous technology, we grandiosely announce everything from what we had for lunch to romantic encounters, and demand our thoughts and desires not only be accepted but celebrated, the kind of expectation someone has who believes they are the central focus of the world.\u00a0 It\u2019s great when people agree with you, but it should be okay if they (respectfully) don\u2019t.\u00a0 All this can be summed up succinctly- it\u2019s fine to keep personal matters private; making loud and controversial statements usually reflects attention seeking behavior and not confidence; and depending on another\u2019s approval for one\u2019s self-worth will likely lead to dissatisfaction, at best.<\/p>\n

A couple more points in this \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with kids today\u201d diatribe.\u00a0 Many years ago I knew a farm owner in Mississippi who had a knack for hiring low-life thieves as his farm managers.\u00a0 At one point I asked him why he didn\u2019t make his most experienced employee, who knew the farm inside and out, the manager.\u00a0 The response was simple: \u201cHe\u2019s black (actually he used a different word to describe his race).\u201d\u00a0 Similarly, a woman with a degree in agriculture once applied and wasn\u2019t hired.\u00a0 I asked him why and was told, \u201cBecause she\u2019s a woman.\u201d\u00a0 This idea that who we are can be defined by one particular trait, without regard to the totality of a person, is an affront.\u00a0 Nevertheless, our society seems to be clamoring for this fill in the blank \u201cI identify as a ___\u201d\u00a0 idiocy.\u00a0 Perceiving oneself based primarily upon race, political affiliation, ethnic group, religion, sexual\/gender orientation, etc inhibits the full expression of a person and fosters and \u201cus versus them\u201d world-view.\u00a0 It is beyond me why anyone would willfully constrain and define themselves, let alone others, to such a singularity.\u00a0 Another word for this is tribalism, an entity with which I have some personal experience, and it reflects a regression of spirit, compassion, and intelligence- Us versus Them and the associated hate might feel empowering for people of a limited mind, but ultimately it\u2019s a total loser.<\/p>\n

My wife and I sponsor a young man in the government university system in Honduras and the majors they offer are surprisingly few in number, I think geared toward what they view as most necessary for the country.\u00a0 While this is a little draconian for me, the standard refrain we\u2019ve heard for decades that \u201cyou can be anything you want to be\u201d rings a little hollow.\u00a0 I\u2019m a firm believer in liberal arts, true academics, and STEM, but someone utilizing societal resources mostly for personal fulfillment might reconsider if you go on to college: degrees such as puppeteering, pop culture, and the various \u201cstudy programs\u201d that seem to mainly exhort students to resentment ultimately will not elevate society or the world overall.<\/p>\n

Realizing and appreciating what you don\u2019t<\/em> know is one of the greater life skills, applicable to all ages but especially to young people.\u00a0 In general, university students are of privileged backgrounds, and that is fine, but they are often lacking in meaningful life experience and wisdom; nevertheless they traditionally think they are omniscient.\u00a0 This makes them susceptible to exploitation by those they view as urbane and worldly.\u00a0 This is most easily seen when an activist college professor incites rage in others for a particular cause.\u00a0 Their cause may or may not be just, but one important purpose of an education (and maturity) is to be able to argue a position with reason, not merely repeat slogans: usually anger is not going to solve a problem or right a wrong.\u00a0 Please do not allow yourself to be exploited, either personally, educationally, financially, or socially!<\/p>\n

Finally the conclusion!\u00a0 Referring back to the second paragraph and the scene from Of Mice and Men, we found a weakened old man who basically had just his old dog and a bunk.\u00a0 A couple of thoughtless and even cruel ranch hands, looking for a brief distraction, used false arguments of compassion to convince the old guy his dog should be shot.\u00a0 There was no one around willing to stand up for him, the dog was killed, and the largest piece of the old man\u2019s existence was permanently removed for a moment of entertainment.\u00a0 We often hear the tired phrase \u201cThe Children Are Our Future\u201d as if that is a good thing in and of itself.\u00a0\u00a0 If today\u2019s children and young adults prove to be ego-centric and self-absorbed, masking selfish desire with fake empathy, and are not willing to not only stand up for the truly weak and dis-empowered, but actually do something beyond expressing outrage, the future is not bright.\u00a0 Kindness, integrity, and respect on the other hand is not a bad approach to life.\u00a0 It might not always allow for immediate gratification and might require effort and inconvenience, but there will be a nice return in the end.<\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 by Reid Fitzsimons I have no recollection who spoke at my high school graduation (1976) but I do recall that a former Vice- President, Hubert Humphrey, spoke at my oldest brother\u2019s ceremony (\u201971) and, if nothing else, I learned that famous and influential people can be exceptionally long-winded and boring. With that said\u2026have you ...continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false},"categories":[7,2],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p5ynMC-8t","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/conservativeproletariat.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/525"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/conservativeproletariat.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/conservativeproletariat.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/conservativeproletariat.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/conservativeproletariat.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=525"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/conservativeproletariat.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/525\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":532,"href":"https:\/\/conservativeproletariat.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/525\/revisions\/532"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/conservativeproletariat.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=525"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/conservativeproletariat.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=525"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/conservativeproletariat.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=525"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}