You Might Be A Diversity Redneck If…

by Reid Fitzsimons

If you get confused over what you’re supposed to believe because the people who make the rules about diversity keep changing them

If you are offended by any non-Mexican wearing a sombrero because of cultural appropriation, though you’re not sure if other Hispanics also wear sombreros and how to differentiate them from Mexicans

If everyday you curse your fate for not having homosexual, or at least bisexual, tendencies

If you prominently display the photo of you and that black bartender at the resort in Jamaica from last year and tell people you and him became good friends

If you celebrate Kwanza, or at least tell people you do

If your second favorite holiday after Kwanza is Cinco de Mayo, though you can never really remember the significance of it besides lots of Mexican flag waving. Nevertheless, you are proud of your social justice flag collection including the Rainbow flag the pretty one with “Co-Exist” written on it

If you think you have fully experienced culturally diversity because on your cruise earlier this year you did the optional half-day side trip to the local market

If you told people who didn’t go to the local market what an exciting mind-opening experience you had

If, during your half-day excursion to the local market, people seemed nice so you concluded “their culture is nice”

If you later tell your friends that the delicacy you tried at the local market on your vacation was delicious (or delicioso if it was in a Hispanic location) when you actually thought it was disgusting and you had massive diarrhea that night and crapped the sheets

If you become frustrated and annoyed when oppressed minorities don’t agree with your belief that they need to be protected, such as when 90% of American Indians have no problem with the name Washington Redskins

If you thought Barack Obama and/or Hillary Clinton were absolutely fabulous back when they opposed homosexual marriage but now think anyone who opposes it is a homophobic Nazi bigot

If you were livid with disgust when you learned of the crude female genitalia remark Trump made but you count your progressive blessings that smart phones and the like weren’t around during your Ivy League school days

If you become confused and ashamed because sometimes personal observation and experience seems to confirm cultural stereotypes, such as Asian Indians operating an exceptionally large numbers of hotels

If you feel guilty doing things that propagate White Privilege such as reading to your kids, but you assuage your guilt by always pointing out that the little girls or boys in the stories could identify themselves as little boys or girls if they wanted

If you still shudder when you think of the time you blurted out “all lives matter” at the Public Radio wine-tasting fund-raiser, then ran back home and put up a “black lives matter” sign in your yard

If you celebrate and embrace customs, beliefs, and practices in other cultures that you abhor when they exist in your own culture, even if they don’t

If you thought Obama’s 2011 “Maybe they'll need a moat. Maybe they want alligators in the moat!” speech on immigration was high-minded rhetoric and put those deplorable hate-filled racists in their place

If you are outraged that your neighborhood and local schools are overwhelmingly white while in truth you’re actually kind of relieved, and you’re thankful for that polite exchange student from Africa. You know, the one with the really really black skin that makes him worth almost two regular black American kids.

If you recall the time you ran into that Christian missionary who talked about providing a home for orphans in a third world country of brown-skinned people, but saw him as evil because he was against homosexual marriage. After all, you are a much more compassionate person because of your progressive beliefs and every year you give money to PBS and Planned Parenthood, and once you volunteered an afternoon at a soup kitchen

One thought on “You Might Be A Diversity Redneck If…

  1. Carole Ann Milljour

    Great job Reid! I really believe most people don't think for themselves. They follow what's popular and go with the flow. They want to stand for something and don't understand what they're standing for. There's a Pied Piper out there, leading those people down the wrong path because they're blind to what's really going on. It's easier to follow a crowd then it is to stand alone. What they don't understand is that the majority would not be standing alone if they stood up for what is right and just. Loving others as one would love him, but always remembering that charity begins at home offers a great deal of promise.
    No one can help someone else if they don't love (take care) themselves first. Justice means law and order created to protect us against those who wish to do us harm. How can they ever experience peace in their lives and hearts if they are so determined to find hate and disgust with their fellow man? If someone doesn’t pose a threat to their security and well-being, then why do people choose to find so much hate for others by judging them by the color of their skin, ethnic backgrounds, sexual preference and religious believes? There is a right and wrong to everything we think, feel and do. We are only humans, sharing space with other humans, trying to survive. If people would only open their hearts and minds, they might find true peace in their lives. Every individual experiences pain and suffering throughout their live; sad to think some create even more for themselves and others by acts of mean spiritedness and disgust for others who do not pose a threat to them with and have no intention of doing so?


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